Sarah's Day

I think only a Mother's love can remember the exact date of her baby girl's 

Born into Heaven Day.

I think only a Mother's love can remember the exact feelings of a broken heart that feels like it will last forever. Knowing that it really won't. It just feels that way. I knew that years from that moment I would be able to look back and know that I made it through the most sorrowful time in my life.

It felt like I was the only one feeling that way as the rest of the family went on about their days. At first it made me mad that they didn't feel the same way but then I couldn't be that upset. It was a Mother's love for her tiny baby that was making me feel that way. It was me who connected with her sweet little soul before she was born and it was me who felt the world stop spinning when I didn't hear her little heart beating any longer. 

15 years. My sweet Sarah would have been 15 years old yesterday.

I purchased the most sunny yellow sunflowers I could find and placed them on the table.

Kaleb knew what they were for....bless his heart. 

The vivid vision that our Lord in heaven placed before me that horrible day when I wasn't dealing with my grief is still perfect in my mind. I can still see her playing ring around the rosies in a a sunlit field with another little girl, barefoot, wavy red hair, wearing a sundress, backlit with sun...absorbing the sunshine to it's fullest, in slow motion, with wildflowers speckled here and there.

It was that vision that God showed me that she was okay. 

That I was okay.

And I know that the day I die, I will get to see her again. 

15 years....it feels like yesterday.